Just turn and RUN

So I've been trying to decide whether I want to go to the Holiday Party that my work is throwing next week, and today is the last day to respond to the invite. The party is going to be appetizers, wine tasting, and dinner at a nice restaurant, but I've been trying to decide whether or not the free food and booze are worth the awkwardness of not really knowing people and 2-3 hours of small talk. This brings me to earlier today when I was sitting at my desk, and I can hear my boss talking to another Admin, and she sees me and says "Oh yeah, and we're going to need you to do some research! We're having Karaoke at the party, did I tell you that? We need to find a machine to rent." She then proceeds to tell me that I'm going to sing with her and the other Admins, that people were going to group up and sing together. I actually didn't know that there was going to be Karaoke so I'm a little taken aback, but smile and go "Oh, ah, okay, I'll look it up online" She turns away and the first thing that pops into my head is

I'm not going.

heeeeeellll no. or as Whitney would say, "Hell to the no!"
Okay, in the spirit of my co-workers, lets do some math here - now, I'm not the best at math, but simple arithmetic I can do.

Booze + Accountants + Karaoke + No office supplies in sight = Socially Awkward Nightmare

Now some division:

Socially Awkward Nightmare
The Amount of Fun Possible (zero)

= an undefined problem, it doesn't exist - because SARAH AIN'T GOING!!!

You can't divide by ZERO fools!!!


Apparently, I forgot about a friend's birthday next week that is on the exact date of the holiday party and a bunch of friends are taking her out for dinner and drinks. Who wants to be the friend!!!!